Thailand for farang

Traditional Thai Massage

Two days ago I went for my first traditional Thai massage ever. People kept asking me why I never had a Thai massage before. First of all, I’m not the spa, beauty and relax stuff type of girl and on top of it all I don’t really like to be touched by strangers. But the flyer looked very inviting. It had a couple looking very happy while receiving a massage. I know it’s just a stock photo, but it intrigued me and kind of convinced me.

shutterstock-massage These kind of Shutterstock pictures were on the brochure.

The masseuses didn’t speak any English at all and I didn’t fully know what to expect. People had told me it hurts a little and they bend your body. But I have a quite high pain threshold and I’m quite flexible, so I wasn’t really worried. They gave me some loose clothes to change into. Nobody told me about that, but I was kind of relieved that I had to wear something at all times as I’m not very comfortable with being touched by a stranger.

My masseuse showed me how to lay on my side. I copied her position, she sat behind me and that is when the horror started. She was rubbing my neck and it didn’t just hurt, it hurt like hell. But I didn’t say anything and let her do her thing. When after a few minutes my hand palms start sweating and my eyes started tearing I wanted to tell her it was hurting me very much. I didn’t because I wanted to have the real authentic Thai massage and know the feeling afterwards.

Traditional-Thai-Massage This is where I cried in silence.

I was warned about the strange yoga like bending they do during the massage, but I was so happy when she started doing that. It was much less painful than the actual rubbing the muscles. For me it was a moment to breath out and wipe the tears out of my eyes.

I was very relieved when the hour was over. I felt pain in my neck, my shoulder and my calves. I thought it would get over soon and wasn’t really worried about it. I told my husband how I’m relieved that he didn’t go with me to try it as he is not flexible at all and he has had many fractures (broke both of his wrists at the same time, broke 1 wrist, cracked 1 wrist and had a crushed elbow, which he still can’t bend normally) and had a torn achilles before. I was joking about how they would molest him.

Little did I know the feeling would get worse. My neck and my back were killing me. My husband checked on it and told me it was very red and thick. I almost cried again when he gently poked it. So I had to give up being strong and we went to buy some tiger balm.

Now two days later my neck and my back still hurt and I still smell like tiger balm. Call me crazy but when I am fully recovered I’m going to give it another try somewhere else to see if this is really the way you feel after a traditional Thai massage. I know it sounds stupid as many other people tell me not to try it ever again, but I just can’t believe this is how I’m supposed to feel after a traditional Thai massage. Current opinion : not a fan at all!

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